I spent the better part of last week on a business trip in New Jersey and the worser part of it fighting off some sort of plague that decided to infest my body.  Basically, I picked up  some sort of crud that started as a tickly cough and ended up with me barking up phlegm bombs, my eyes crusting up like a loaf of bread, the inside of my mouth looking and feeling like I had swallowed boiling water, and my body generally feeling like an alien had invaded it.  I bought a ton of OTC goodies from a CVS Pharmacy which, of course, I could have paid for from my Health Savings Account which HSA rules allow for.

Having been sick all week, I was uber sensitive about the well being of my fellow passengers and was also wondering how many other plague carrying, pflegm barking compatriots there were on that plane with me.  Normally squalor doesn’t particularly bother me, but damned if I was going to spread what I had to 150 total strangers.  Prior to boarding the plane I washed my hands.  When I got on the plane I pulled out my handy “Wet Ones” and wiped my hands again, my tray table and the arm rests of my chair.  Even Michael Jackson would have been proud of me.  Midway through the flight, I went to the lav and washed my hands again while singing my ABCs and Twinkle Twinkle.  I was on the aisle of a three seat row and when I had to cough, I made sure to do it into my shirt sleeve.  Short of donning a containment suit, I think I did a pretty good job of not polluting the cabin.

The problem was, the guy sitting next to me, apparently was carrying a similar plague.  And sandwiched between me and another guy, he proceeded to cough liberally into his hands, all over the back of the tray table, on my shirt sleeve, on the other guy’s shirt sleeve, pretty much everywhere.  It was April showers in November, at 30,000 feet.  

If April showers bring Mayflowers and Mayflowers bring Pilgrims, then all the Pilgrims are going to have the plague and Thanksgiving is going to suck.  Got it?

The moral of the story is, for the sake of your fellow mankind, when you are on an airplane or any confined space for that matter, have some consideration man!  Wash your hands, cough on your sleeve.  It’s a flying petri dish for goodness sake, and we would all like to live to see another Thanksgiving.

God bless you.  Now go find a hanky.